I'm told I should take advantage of my time here in this city. Because, well, I guess "not many people get these kinds of opportunities".

They don't? I think to myself. Are you sure? Opportunities never seemed like opportunities to me, rather they were things that happened to me because of a series of steps I took.

This particular day I've had too much coffee, and thus, I'm immobile. Heart racing and panic setting in, I lie on my back under the covers and stare at the design. Brown, black, and cream flowers swirling together in a never-ending pattern. My left foot is tapping on the bed, up and down, up and down, up and down, all my excess energy channeled to that one foot, going up and down, up and down, up and down.

But I'm lucky to be here in this situation, because It's special, they say. It's an opportunity, they say.

I say it's just a thing that happens to be occurring at a particular time in my life. Like the up and down, up and down, up and down of my foot tapping on the bed. An excess of energy looking for a host. 

Natalie Filkoski holds a B.A. in English from Michigan State and an M.S. in Publishing from Pace University. After spending two years in Brooklyn buying overpriced gluten-free cupcakes from Whole Foods, she’s now back in Metro Detroit.